out with the old, in with the new

2009 has been a much harder year than I thought it would be. I endured the toughest semester of nursing school, started out my nursing career in the emergency department, survived the flu and shingles in one week, went right back to school and proceeded to fail College Chemistry, and had my heart ripped out my chest and was left to bleed. Wow...it sounds awful when I put it that way. I had such high expectations last New Year. "I'm going to be a nurse and all my problems will be solved".

Silly Girl.

I think back to who I was a mere 365 days ago and I honestly barely even recognize that girl. I'm thinking that's a good thing. I was living stagnantly for the past 3 years. Same boyfriend, same school, same secretary's desk--every day was exactly the same. I was was living in a tiny box and I was very comfortable there. Thankfully circumstances both of my own doing and some out of my control, have destroyed my cozy little box and forced me out into an open space that I have no idea where it ends.

So what have I learned?

1) My family rocks. I have the two most beautiful, smart, funny, and amazing sisters that roam God's green earth. Yes, we still fight and I still want to inflict bodily harm on them occasionally but I love these two girls. They truly are my best friends and I wouldn't trade them for anyone! My parents are so supportive and thoughtful and just overall awesome. My dad has been my biggest cheer leader listening to me talk about my patients and encouraging me when I want to throw in the towel. My mom has put up with my valley's and rejoiced with me on my mountaintops. Always there for me and really good at keeping my feet on the ground. Yes...I love them all so.

2) Don't give up and never let them see you cry. I just realized today that I have been an ED nurse for 6 months. 6 MONTHS! I feel that this is a major accomplishment. I have never once cried at work since I became a nurse and this is also a major accomplishment for me! I may have cried after I got home but that's ok. There has been about 3-5 days at work that I have wanted to give up and say "screw it, I don't need this career" and I seriously was considering walking away. But that's not an option for me and I am glad I have stuck with it. I am learning so much in my ED and lately I have been getting assigned one of the resuscitation room which is scary but a great way for me to learn.

3) Life goes on. Be grateful for the good times and forget about the bad.

As Good Charlotte says...

"We break up
It's something that we do now
Everyone has got to do it sometime
It's okay, let it go
Get out there and find someone

It's too late to be trippin' on the phone here
Get off the wire
You know everything is good here
Stop what you're doin'
You don't wanna ruin
The chance that you got to
find a new one"

And that's all I'm going to say about that.

4)God doesn't give us more than we can handle. Sure I had a rough year and few times I didn't think I was going to make it or quite frankly, I didn't want to make it, but here I am. I'm alive, I have my health and my family and my awesome friends who keep me sane. God has a plan and purpose for me and these rough patches are shaping me to fulfill my destiny.

So welcome 2010, I'm glad you are here. Let's have a good time, eh? :)

P.S. Corrie, you rock. Thanks for always being there. 2010 will be great! Enjoy the journey my friend!