For Randi and Rachel

Happy Nurses Week to all my fellow nurses out there!

This was my first time celebrating it as an actual RN and I was blessed to be nominated as the "Rookie Nurse of the Year" at my hospital and I won! The ceremony was beautiful and I had no idea I had won til I got there. My boss called my parents and they were able to come and share this special moment with me. I actually got 4 free tickets to Disney world too!



I had a very boring three day weekend at work last week. Nothing happened and I was hounding the doctors for stuff to do and annoying my fellow nurses with constantly asking them if they needed help. So yesterday I had to pay for all my boredness. I had a 44 year old woman come in as a diabetic unresponsiveness but that was actually the least of her problems. She had liver cancer and her prognosis was very poor, her oncologist had told her already that there was nothing that could be done for her. She was a train wreck, all her systems were already shutting down. Her lungs were filling up with fluid, her abdomen was distended with what the ED doctor thought was blood because her hemoglobin was half that of a healthy person. She wouldn't keep her blood pressure up, her kidneys weren't working and although she was conscious, she was confused and unresponsive to everything going on around her. Her core temperature was only 91 degrees.

She was going to die. I knew it, the other nurses knew it, and the doctors knew it but her sisters wouldn't accept it.

Liver Cancer runs in their family, one of the sisters had already had a liver transplant. I don't know if they thought this one sister could survive the cancer because the other sister already had or what. Either they didn't understand how grave my patients situation was or they just didn't want to accept it but they told us that they wanted everything done for this poor woman.

EVERYTHING.

I let the two sisters stay in the room because I knew they didn't have much more time together. I had to work to keep my mind busy on all the interventions I was doing like foley catheter, NG tube, and managing all 5 of the IV pumps, because every time I let myself focus on the three woman in the room with me, I would tear up because they reminded me of myself and my beautiful sisters. The nurse in me was incredulous that these women would allow my poor patient to suffer like she was but at the same time, the sister in me could understand because I am sure I wouldn't want to let go of one of my sisters at such a young age.

I stabilized her as much as I possibly could and had my charge nurse help me transport her to the ICU. We were a very grave procession going down the hall followed by the chaplain, the sisters, and the rest of the family. They coded her 3 times in the ICU, the second time was right at shift change and since I didn't have any patients, I went up with the ED doctor to work it. I found out from the ICU nurses that the patient hadn't wanted all of this...she didn't want the tube down her throat or her heart being shocked back into rhythm. But family members can overrule the patient's wishes. Finally, after she coded for the fourth time, her family signed the DNR and let her go.

When I got home last night, I just wanted to hug my sisters. Being the young age that I am, I still have that immortal mentality that hard things will never happen to me. Days like this show me that I don't know what the future will hold for me and my family. I hope that if I ever find myself in a similar situation I will make the right choice. But I won't know what the right choice will be until I get there. So for now, I won't yell at Randi Jean when she steals my perfume or say no to Rachel when she asks me to ride bikes with her. God truly blessed me when he linked me for life with these two women(oh my word, I'm crying right now!). I pray that I will always cherish them for as long as I am privileged to have them.













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2009

She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities. She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway. She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark. She is your teacher, your defense attorney, your personal press agent, even your shrink. Some days, she's the reason you wish you were an only child.
~Barbara Alpert