my month is over.

not the literal month. The literal month just began. My month of madness, however, ended at 6 tonight. My friends graduated here the first weekend of may, parties and ceremonies all weekend long. Two days later I flew to Florida for a week. 3 days after I got home I went to a wedding 3 hours away. I took the bride and groom to the airport. I watched as my living room filled with the new roommates stuff moving in and the old roommates stuff on the way out. MASS CHAOS is what my apartment has been. I stopped trying to pick up because, quite frankly, why bother. This past week I went to the old roommate, Tiffany's, wedding. Went on Wednesday to a tiny kansas town 7 hours away. Spent all week running like a madwoman.

I really don't like the part where they file your nails in pedicures...



I am tired. I am home. I really don't want to see anyone for like the next month.

My attitude has been increasingly bad. For the most part I have been able to hide it, but today it exploded. My friend Chelsie was in the car with me, and she just grabbed the ipod and put on happy music. It worked for a while, but now that I am home I am just *blah*




There comes a time when I need to not be around people. When I need to just be by myself and breathe. I haven't had time to do that in a month. Maybe this week I can. I had a grand total of 9 days off of work... three more nights to go! I am excited. On my last night my boss asked when I was going to start building the wound care box on our floor. I think she expects me to do it during work, and yet, I have barely had time to sit down the past couple of weeks. She is either going to have to pay me to do it on a day off, or accept that it might not happen anytime soon. That is my opinion, and I am sticking to it.


I was so excited to see a new RaDonna post! I haven't gotten to talk to her in forever, but I am so excited things are going well. I still hate putting in IV's. She does them all the time in the ED, I am sure, but I don't do them all that often, so I still don't feel 100% comfortable. Then the hospital changed the brand we use... so didn't help.


I so remember the feelings of the first couple of days. weeks. months. Believe it or not, it gets better.


Oh! I forgot to add that last weekend my dad and mom came up and we did the american.heart.walk. It was fun, but one more thing to add to a crazy month...

my hospital made us wear green wigs because they didn't think we got enough press coverage last year considering the fact that we are corporate sponsors. Green wigs were supposed to get attention from the press... no word yet on if it worked. I like green, so I was okay with it.

Wow. this post was random. I think I am going to go to IHOP now and get butterscotch pancakes and a splashberry.

fake it til you make it

I have completed 4 shifts in the emergency department as a nurse so far and I feel like I have absolutely no idea what I am doing. I make the silliest mistakes like taking a blood pressure in the arm of a man whose finger was so infected and swollen that his skin split. Something is strangely a muck with my IV's--I got them all today but they just didn't seem quite right. I somehow manage to blood-let every one of patients! :)

I feel adrift in the nursing world. Being a graduate nurse is kind of crippling. I am in limbo between Registered Nurse and Secretary and I can't really find my niche. Soon though! 8 days and counting!

I did have my first "trauma" today. An 80 year old man who took a spill on his scooter going thirty miles per hour. Wouldn't have been so bad except he was on a blood thinner so it took a bit of work to get all his bumps and abrasions to quit oozing. He was so nice and sweet but his wife called me Rhianna...haven't heard that one before!

I love being a nurse though. I enjoy being the hands that bring God's healing touch. My people skills are improving so much. Dealing with all kinds of people in all different kinds of situations has a way of launching a crash course in diplomacy and patience. I have been so protected these past 3 years, deep in the nurses station only interacting with the doctors and nurses. Now I am one of them (almost) and I couldn't be happier!

My plan is to take it one day at a time. Do the best I can with each and every patient I see. And continue to fake it til I make it :)

GN day 1

I have blood on my right shoe. I survived 3 years of working in the Emergency Department as a tech and 2 years of nursing school and never once did a drop of blood ever come in contact with my scrubs. But my very first day as a Graduate Nurse and I get blood on me.

How awesome is that? :D

I had a very successful first day I think. I missed 66% of my IV starts, charted on the wrong patient only once, and got to perform CPR for the first time. My preceptor called in sick today so I was following around a different nurse than I am used to, who is great but just not what I am used to. It was good to see how other nurses assess their patients and chart and to discover what they have learned over the years and what stuck out the most to them.

I am so very tired though...I think I will write more in the next couple of days because I am just so tired.